The Millionaire Mind Support Network

Step 3 Turn it Around

After you’ve investigated your statement with the four questions, you’re ready to turn it around.

Each turnaround is an opportunity to experience the opposite of your original statement and see what you and the person you’ve judged have in common.

A statement can be turned around to the opposite, to the other, and to the self (and sometimes to “my thinking,” wherever that applies). Find a minimum of three genuine examples in your life where each turnaround is true.

For example, “Paul doesn’t understand me” can be turned around to “Paul does understand me.” Another turnaround is “I don’t understand Paul.” A third is “I don’t understand myself.”

Be creative with the turnarounds. They are revelations, showing you previously unseen aspects of yourself reflected back through others. Once you’ve found a turnaround, go inside and let yourself feel it. Find a minimum of three genuine examples where the turnaround is true in your life.

As I began living my turnarounds, I noticed that I was everything I called you. You were merely my projection. Now, instead of trying to change the world around me (this didn’t work, but only for 43 years), I can put the thoughts on paper, investigate them, turn them around, and find that I am the very thing I thought you were. In the moment I see you as selfish, I am selfish (deciding how you should be). In the moment I see you as unkind, I am unkind. If I believe you should stop waging war, I am waging war on you in my mind.

The turnarounds are your prescription for happiness. Live the medicine you have been prescribing for others. The world is waiting for just one person to live it. You’re the one.

Examples of Turnarounds

Here are a few more examples of turnarounds:

“He should understand me” turns around to:
- He shouldn’t understand me. (This is reality.)
- I should understand him.
- I should understand myself.

“I need him to be kind to me” turns around to:
- I don’t need him to be kind to me.
- I need me to be kind to him. (Can I live it?)
- I need me to be kind to myself.

“He is unloving to me” turns around to:
- He is loving to me. (To the best of his ability)
- I am unloving to him. (Can I find it?)
- I am unloving to me (When I don’t inquire.)

“Paul shouldn’t shout at me” turns around to:
- Paul should shout at me. (Obviously: In reality, he does sometimes. Am I listening?)
- I shouldn’t shout at Paul.
- I shouldn’t shout at me.
(In my head, am I playing over and over again Paul’s shouting? Who’s more merciful, Paul who shouted once, or me who replayed it a 100 times?)

Embracing Reality

After you have turned around the judgments in your answers to numbers 1 through 5 on the Worksheet (asking if they are as true or truer), turn number 6 around using “I am willing …” and “I look forward to …”

For example, “I don’t ever want to experience an argument with Paul” turns around to “I am willing to experience an argument with Paul” and “I look forward to experiencing an argument with Paul.” Why would you look forward to it?

Number 6, is about fully embracing all of mind and life without fear, and being open to reality. If you experience an argument with Paul again, good. If it hurts, you can put your thoughts on paper and investigate them. Uncomfortable feelings are merely the reminders that we’ve attached to something that may not be true for us. They let us know that it’s time to do The Work.

Until you can see the enemy as a friend, your Work is not done. This doesn’t mean you must invite him to dinner. Friendship is an internal experience. You may never see him again, you may even divorce him, but as you think about him are you feeling stress or peace?

In my experience, it takes only one person to have a successful relationship. I like to say I have the perfect marriage, and I can’t really know what kind of marriage my husband has (though he tells me he’s happy too).

Please check out this YouTUBE clip and see how Bryron Katie uses the Turning It Around to change underlining beliefs and start the process of changing out personal blueprints

Byron Katie – The work 4

You Have a Millionaire Mind!

All writings in this blog entry are copyrighted © 2007 Byron Katie Inc. All rights reserved.
You may not use them without written permission but you may link to the posts or give out a link to the posts.

All writings here are copyrighted. You may not use them without written permission but you may link to the posts or give out a link to the posts; and remember, You Have a Millionaire Mind!

The Four Questions

Investigate each of your statements from the Judge-Your-Neighbor Worksheet (Down load ) the four questions and the turnaround below. The Work is meditation. It’s about awareness, not about trying to change your thoughts. Ask the questions, then take your time, go inside, and wait for the deeper answers to surface. Use the blue sheet below as a facilitation guide. (You can download the bluesheet here http://www.thework.com/thework.asp#bluesheet).

In its most basic form, The Work consists of four questions and a turnaround. For example, the first thought that you might question on the above Worksheet is “Paul doesn’t listen to me.” Find someone in your life about whom you have had that thought, and let’s do The Work. “[Name] doesn’t listen to me”:

Is it true?

Can you absolutely know that it’s true?

How do you react when you think that thought?

Who would you be without the thought?

Then turn it around (http://www.thework.com/thework.asp#3), and don’t forget to find three genuine examples of each turnaround.

The Blue Sheet

A Facilitation Guide for The Work

The following is a way to question what you believe to be true.
The sub-questions are training wheels for people new to The Work and may be helpful for a while.

1. Is it true?

- Close your eyes, be still, go deeply as you contemplate your answer.

If your answer is no, continue to Question 3.

2. Can you absolutely know that it’s true?

- Can you know more than God/reality?

- Can you really know what’s best in the long run for his/her/your own path?

- Can you absolutely know that you would be happier if you got what you wanted?

3. How do you react when you believe that thought?

- How does it feel when you believe that thought. Be still. Notice what happens.

- Does this thought bring peace or stress into your life?

- Where does the feeling hit your body when you believe that thought? How far does the feeling travel?

Describe it.

- What images do you see when you believe that thought? Watch, be still, notice.

- When did that thought first occur to you? How old were you? What was happening at the time? Whose thought was it originally?

- How do you treat others when you believe that thought? How do you treat yourself? What do you say to them? What do you do? Whom does your mind attack and how? Be specific.

- How do you treat yourself when you believe that thought? Do you addictively reach for food, alcohol, credit cards, the TV remote? Do thoughts of self-hatred occur? If so, what are they? List them, and investigate them later.

- Can you find a peaceful reason to keep that thought?

- What terrible thing do you assume would happen if you didn’t believe that thought? Write down the terrible thought, and turn it around to the opposite and test it for yourself. Would the opposite possibly be as true or truer?

4. Who would you be without the thought?

- Close your eyes and imagine your past without that thought.

- Imagine you are meeting this person for the very first time with no story. What do you see?

- What are you without that thought?

- What are you without a story?

We will continue with Bryon Katie’s The Work and Step 3 Turn it Around on Monday Oct 8th. Until then, please check out this YouTUBE clip and see how Bryron Katie uses the The Four Questions to identify underlining beliefs and start the process of thinking differently.

Byron Katie – The Work 3

You Have a Millionaire Mind!

All writings in this blog entry are copyrighted © 2007 Byron Katie Inc. All rights reserved.
You may not use them without written permission but you may link to the posts or give out a link to the posts.

All writings here are copyrighted. You may not use them without written permission but you may link to the posts or give out a link to the posts. And remember, You Have a Millionaire Mind!

Step One: Judge Your Neighbor

This description is taken from Bryon Katie’s website, The Work.

The simplest way to do The Work is outlined below:

Step1 — Judge Your Neighbor

For thousands of years we’ve been told not to judge, but we still do it all the time—how our friends should act, whom our children should care about, what our parents should feel, do, or say. In The Work, rather than suppress these judgments, we use them as starting points for self-realization. By letting the judging mind have its life on paper, we discover through the mirror of those around us what we haven’t yet realized about ourselves.

Fill in a Judge-Your-Neighbor worksheet. You can download one here, http://www.thework.com/pdf/JYN_4QBW_10_06.pdf
or simply use this online version :

The Judge-Your-Neighbor Worksheet

Fill in the blanks below, using short, simple sentences. Don’t censor yourself; don’t be wise or “spiritual.” Take this opportunity to express your negative feelings on paper.

1. Who angers, irritates, saddens, or frustrates you, and why?
I am ________________ at ________________ because ____________________________________
Example: I am angry at Paul because he doesn’t listen to me, he doesn’t appreciate me, he argues with everything I say.

2. How do you want them to change? What do you want them to do?
I want ________________ to __________
__________________________________.
Example: I want Paul to see that he is wrong. I want him to apologize.

3. What is it that they should or shouldn’t do, be, think, or feel? What advice could you offer?
________________ should/shouldn’t _________________________________.
Example: Paul should take better care of himself. He shouldn’t argue with me.

4. Do you need anything from them? What do they need to do in order for you to be happy?
I need ________________ to ___________________
___________________________________.
Example: I need Paul to hear me and respect me.

5. What do you think of them? Make a list.
________________ is _______________________
___________________________________.
Example: Paul is unfair, arrogant, loud, dishonest, way out of line, and unconscious.

6. What is it that you don’t want to experience with that person again?
I don’t ever want to ______________________________
___________________________________.
Example: I don’t ever want to feel unappreciated by Paul again. I don’t ever want to see him smoking and ruining his health again.

We will continue with Bryon Katie’s The Work and the Four Question process on Friday Oct 5th. Until then, please check out this YouTUBE clip and see how Bryron Katie uses the Judge Your Neighbor process to identify underlining beliefs.

Byron Katie – The Work 2

All writings in this blog entry are copyrighted © 2007 Byron Katie Inc. All rights reserved.
All writings here are copyrighted. You may not use them without written permission but you may link to the posts or give out a link to the posts. And remember, You Have a Millionaire Mind!

Who is Byron Katie and

How Do I Find Out More About THE WORK

This description is taken from Bryon Katie’s website, The Work.

Katie is the author of three bestselling books, ‘Loving What Is‘, ‘I Need Your Love—Is That True? ‘ and the recently published, ‘A Thousand Names for Joy: Living in Harmony with the Way Things Are‘.

Byron Katie became severely depressed in her early thirties. For almost a decade she spiraled down into depression, rage, self-loathing, and constant thoughts of suicide; for the last two years she was often unable to leave her bedroom.

Then one morning in February 1986, she experienced a life-changing realization. There are various names for an experience like this. Katie calls it “waking up to reality.”

In that instant of no-time, she says,

I discovered that when I believed my thoughts, I suffered, but that when I didn’t believe them, I didn’t suffer, and that this is true for every human being. Freedom is as simple as that. I found that suffering is optional. I found a joy within me that has never disappeared, not for a single moment. That joy is in everyone, always.

She realized that what had been causing her depression was not the world around her, but the beliefs she’d had about the world. Instead of hopelessly trying to change the world to match her thoughts about how it should be, she could question these thoughts and, by meeting reality as it is, experience unimaginable freedom and joy. As a result, a bedridden, suicidal woman was instantly filled with love for everything life brings.

What is The Work?

Katie’s method of self-inquiry, called The Work, didn’t develop from this experience; she says that it woke up with her, as her, that February morning in 1986. The first people who did The Work reported that it had transformed their lives, and she soon began receiving invitations to teach the process publicly.

Since 1986, she has brought The Work to hundreds of thousands of people across the world, at free public events, in prisons, hospitals, churches, corporations, universities, schools, at weekend workshops, and at her amazing nine-day School for The Work.

How To Do The Work

The Work is a simple yet powerful process of inquiry that teaches you to identify and question the stressful thoughts that cause all the suffering in the world. It’s a way to understand what’s hurting you, a way to end all your stress and suffering.

People who do The Work faithfully report life-changing results.

• • Eliminate stress: Live without anxiety or fear
  • Improve relationships: Have a new sense of connection and intimacy with your husband or wife, your parents, your children, and with yourself
  • Reduce anger: Get angry less often and less intensely, and eventually not at all
  • Eliminate depression: See perfection in situations that were once debilitating
  • Clarity: Act more intelligently and effectively
  • Energy: Experience a new sense of vigor and well-being
  • Peace: Learn how to love what is, and find lasting inner peace

More on Step 1 of The Work, filling out the Judge Your Neighbor work sheet on Wednesday Oct 3rd. Until then, please check out this YouTUBE clip as an introduction to THE Work of Bryron Katie.

Byron Katie – The Work 1

All writings in this blog entry are copyrighted © 2007 Byron Katie Inc. All rights reserved.

All writings here are copyrighted. You may not use them without written permission but you may link to the posts or give out a link to the posts. And remember, You Have a Millionaire Mind!